Dan Manginelli

Why Knowing Your Audience Matters More Than Winning Everyone’s Approval

By Dan Manginelli | Mortgage & Executive Coach | The Manginelli Group

I recently received a comment from a distant relative on one of my social media posts.

The comment was simple:

“Not everyone wants to be coached.”

And you know what? They’re absolutely right.

Not everyone wants to be coached. Not everyone wants advice. Not everyone is looking for motivation, accountability, or someone challenging them to become better.

But here’s what that comment made me think about.

Not everyone is my audience. And that’s OK.

It’s a lesson that applies to coaching, leadership, sales, business, and just about everything we do in life.

Who Are You Really Talking To?

Every time I post a video, write an article, record a podcast, or speak to a group, I have a purpose.

I’m trying to reach someone.

Maybe it’s a loan officer who’s struggling to find business in a difficult mortgage market.

Maybe it’s a regional manager who knows their team is capable of more but can’t figure out how to get everyone moving in the same direction.

Maybe it’s a top producer who has achieved incredible success but knows there’s another level they haven’t reached.

Or maybe it’s someone who simply needs to hear that they’re not alone in their struggles and that tomorrow can be different if they take action today.

Those are the people I’m talking to.

I’m not trying to convince everyone to hire a coach.

I’m not trying to tell everyone how to live their life.

And I’m certainly not expecting everyone to agree with everything I say.

I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned through nearly four decades in the mortgage industry, as a business owner, sales professional, leader, and coach.

If something I share helps one person take action, change a habit, make a phone call, or look at a challenge differently, then that message served its purpose.

Criticism Isn’t Always a Reason to Change Your Message

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years.

When you put yourself out there, people are going to have opinions.

Some will agree.

Some will disagree.

Some will challenge your thinking.

And some will criticize something that was never intended for them in the first place.

Now, don’t misunderstand me.

Being coachable also means being willing to listen to criticism.

Sometimes feedback is exactly what we need to hear. Sometimes someone sees something we don’t. And sometimes the most uncomfortable conversations lead to the greatest personal growth.

But there’s a difference between constructive feedback and allowing someone else’s perspective to pull you away from your purpose.

Before you change your message because someone doesn’t like it, ask yourself:

Was this person actually someone I was trying to reach?

If the answer is no, why would you allow that opinion to determine how you communicate with the people who need to hear what you’re saying?

The Same Lesson Applies to Mortgage and Real Estate Sales

Think about this from a business perspective.

As a mortgage professional, not everyone needs a mortgage today.

Not everyone wants to refinance.

Not every Realtor wants another lending relationship.

Not every homeowner wants to discuss their equity.

Does that mean you stop reaching out?

Of course not.

It means you need to understand who you’re trying to help and what value you can bring to that person.

One of the biggest mistakes I see salespeople make is trying to be everything to everybody.

They create generic messages.

They make generic phone calls.

They talk about products instead of solutions.

And when someone doesn’t respond positively, they start questioning their approach, their confidence, and sometimes even their value.

But what if the problem isn’t your message?

What if you’re simply talking to the wrong audience?

The best sales professionals understand that success isn’t about getting everyone to say yes.

It’s about consistently reaching the right people with the right message at the right time.

And most importantly, it’s about genuinely helping them.

Stop Trying to Be Perfect. Start Being Authentic.

I’ve talked about this many times in my coaching and on my WTF — Where’s The Focus podcast.

Too many people spend so much time worrying about what others think that they never take action.

They don’t make the video because someone might criticize it.

They don’t write the article because someone might disagree.

They don’t make the phone call because someone might say no.

They don’t share their opinion because someone might challenge it.

And before they know it, another day, another week, or another year has passed.

All because they were trying to avoid criticism.

Here’s what I believe:

You don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. You just have to be authentic, intentional, and willing to show up.

Some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had started because someone heard something I said and reached out.

Maybe they were struggling.

Maybe they needed accountability.

Maybe they simply wanted a different perspective.

I would never have had those conversations if I had allowed the fear of someone’s opinion to keep me quiet.

Your Message Doesn’t Need to Reach Everyone

When I think about that original comment — “Not everyone wants to be coached” — I actually agree with it more than the person might realize.

Coaching isn’t for everyone.

Some people are perfectly happy with where they are.

Some people have their own systems, mentors, and accountability.

Some aren’t ready to make changes.

And some simply aren’t interested.

That’s their choice, and I respect it.

But there are also people who are hungry to grow.

People who want to be challenged.

People who are tired of getting the same results.

People who know they’re capable of more and want someone to help them get there.

Those are the people I want to reach.

And if my message helps them take one step closer to where they want to be, then it’s worth sharing.

Here’s My Challenge to You This Week

Whether you’re a loan officer, real estate professional, business owner, leader, or someone building a personal brand, think about the message you’re putting into the world.

Ask yourself:

• Who am I really trying to reach?
• What problem am I helping them solve?
• Am I delivering genuine value, or am I just trying to get attention?
• Am I changing my message because of meaningful feedback, or because I’m afraid someone might disagree?
• Am I being authentic, or am I trying too hard to please everyone?

You don’t need everyone’s approval to make an impact.

You need clarity about your purpose and consistency in your actions.

Stay Focused on the People You Can Help

After all these years in business, here’s one thing I know.

There will always be critics.

There will always be people who don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish.

And there will always be people who aren’t interested in what you have to offer.

That’s life.

But there are also people who need exactly what you have to share.

People who can benefit from your experiences, your knowledge, your encouragement, and your willingness to challenge them.

Don’t let the people who aren’t listening distract you from the people who are.

Keep showing up.

Keep sharing.

Keep bringing value.

And remember, your success isn’t measured by how many people agree with you.

It’s measured by the difference you make with the people you’re trying to help.

Know your audience. Trust your purpose. Block out the noise.

And most importantly, keep moving forward.

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Dan Manginelli
Mortgage & Executive Coach | Author | Speaker
Founder, The Manginelli Group

With nearly four decades of experience in mortgage lending, leadership, and sales coaching, Dan Manginelli helps mortgage professionals and business leaders build stronger habits, develop accountability, and achieve sustainable growth.

Want to take your business to the next level? Visit ManginelliGroup.com to learn more about coaching, leadership development, and building a proven daily cadence for success.